I think I’ll start off with a little info about myself, in case anyone actually reads this, it will make more sense. I had a normal middle class upbringing and am very close to my family and a few friends. I was married almost 3 years ago to the absolute love of my life. It has been the best decision I’ve ever made. In a very short period of time (2 weeks) I moved, got married (it was a very small Justice of the Peace ceremony), and started a new job. Things went well at first but after about 6 months I started getting very irritable and over emotional. Luckily I was able to quit work and become a housewife. Things got better but there was still something wrong or missing.
Then my husband had to deploy to Afghanistan for a year and that is when things went severely downhill. I shut everyone out; I became almost agoraphobic in the way I feared leaving my house because something bad was going to happen. I was over emotional still and I would get stressed at the drop of a dime. I tried to take classes for medical coding and billing but I couldn’t focus on it. I chalked everything up to the fact that Kasey, my husband, was gone.
After Kasey returned, things eased up for me a little bit but my fears and behavior never fully bounced back. So finally after the year of deployment and another 4 months, I made an appointment to see a behavioral health specialist. Backtrack – the tipping point was that the Army was trying to send my husband to Japan for a year and a half alone after only being home for 6 months. So come to find out I have severe anxiety and especially social anxiety (finally it was diagnosed and it wasn’t just me feeling like a weirdo), depression, Cyclothymia (which is a mild form of bipolar disorder), and a slight issue with agoraphobia. Whew! It seems like a lot, but it’s now more manageable (for the most part) but with it comes finding humor in things to lessen the strain.
In addition to all of that, I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. It makes it very difficult to conceive. I’m almost 30 and one of the things that my husband and I want most is to have a baby and a family of more than just the two of us. Will it happen for us? I don’t know. We’ll continue to try, but if it doesn’t happen then it just wasn’t meant to be. We are getting more used to the idea of not having children and just having more freedom to travel and enjoy each other’s company. In the meantime, I am taking classes for a Bachelor’s degree in Accounting with the University of Phoenix. And that Is where we are today.
So this wasn’t the shortest or lightest post ever, but I felt it was important to have some backstory. In order to understand someone you have to know a little about them. So that’s a little about me and I’m sure there will be more to come, some serious post and some lighter ones. Some will come when I’m overwhelmed or light-hearted. So there you have it, I’m a housewife with no children but a list of mental strains.
